Chapter 3
I know he wants me to speak but I can’t form the words. I don’t know what I want to say anyway. So here I am, naked as the day I was born, staring up at a fully clothed Eric who had just poured his heart out. I am so dizzy I think I might throw up. I know he is tuned into my feeling and he looks worried. Who would have thought a barmaid from Bon Temps, Louisiana could rattle this ancient being. Not me that’s for sure. When Eric is in his right mind, he is always the essence of confidence, yep this is new territory. Breathe Sookie breathe. Why me? How did I make this stunning, powerful vampire fall in love with me? It must be the fairy blood.
“Eric, I just don’t know how to respond.”
“That is not the reaction I anticipated.” He said his voice even.
“This is all a little much for me right now. I want to deal with us I really do, but it’s a lot to consider all at one time. I mean a few hours ago I was my ex-boyfriends prisoner, then you came and saved me, and now you are professing you undying love. I can’t wrap my head around everything right now.”
Eric looked thoughtful and maybe a little ticked. It was 4 am and the sun will rise around 7:15 so we still have sometime, but not enough for me to comprehend all of this.
“I understand my lover. We still have about three hours until sunrise, you rest for an hour of so and I will wait in the living room. I am sure once you have had time to collect yourself, you will come around to my way of thinking.” Eric said oozing confidence, and I could tell from the bond it was genuine.
“Ok, I could use some rest, but please stay with me. Wake me up in a while we’ll go from there.”
Eric effortlessly removes his shirt, and my pulse shoots through the roof. His body is unbelievable. There should be statues of him in museums. Sleep is now about the farthest thing from my mind, but he makes no advance. He just pulls me close and holds me against him. He is cool, but I don’t mind, my quilt is warm. I know he feels my desire as he settles his hand on my stomach. I can feel him trying to calm me down, but I know he is suppressing his own want too. In his arms I feel tiny and protected. I know no one can harm me when I am in my Viking cocoon. I know I am in the embrace of a man who loves me. Maybe the only one who ever truly had? I had told Quinn I needed to be first, and I knew he could never provide that. It wasn’t something he could help. I can’t fault him for protecting his family, but that’s not the life I want. Eric may have a big part of Louisiana to govern, but every time I needed him he was there. He had put me first, even before himself; something I didn’t think was possible. If I had been paying attention I would have seen that a long time ago. This won’t be easy. We have a lot against us.
I turn over and look Eric in the eye. His brilliant blue orbs shine down on me and I know I was making the right decision. I kiss him deeply and after a moment we find a nice rhythm. Eric has had lots of practice and it shows. The whole world stands still. I feel his pants straining against my legs, and it takes every bit of will I have to release his mouth. My lips are swollen and red. My skin is flush. His fangs are down and his eyes are blazing. I have about two seconds to get this out before I loose all control and jump him.
I breathe deep. “Eric, I love you, and I do not want to see anyone else. I want to be with you too.”
I guess Eric figured he had already said enough. He leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine. Our tongues begin to dance and he shifts so he is on his knees between my parted legs. I can feel his rigidity against me. As I run the tip of my tongue across his fang he lets out a moan and starts to grind against me. I want him so badly I think I am going to explode. I reach down to fumble with his button but he flattens his body against mine and lowers his head to my chest. The pressure of his body on mine is pleasurable, not daunting, and he almost sends me over the edge from mouthing and kneading my breasts alone. As I am about to peak, he returns his mouth to mine and the anticipation begins to build again. I reach down again and his pants practically open by themselves. He rubs his tip against my nub and his hands explore me below as well. As his fingers fill me I find myself again on the boundary of orgasm. He pushes me over and as I am losing all control as he plunges in and thrusts with purpose. He isn’t rough, but he is determined. Before all is said and done, I climax three more times.
“Mmmm, that was even better than I remembered.” I purred.
“That is because it was better my lover.” He replied lazily.
“Huh?” I looked at him; I am still a little fuzzy, mind numbing sex and all.
“Since we have bonded everything we share will be more intense.” He stated as if I should have known.
“I am still a little confused about this whole bond. The heightened senses have faded but I can still feel you just as strong as the day it happened. Will it always be this way?”
“No, there are two separate paths we can take my lover, and they will depend on you. If you are satisfied with our connection it will mature; we will be powerful allies and take great comfort in one another. Should you come to resent our tie, it will not sever but will become warped and be a great encumbrance to us both. As I said you may come to hate me. I hope that does not happen. Even if we separate, we will always sense the other in our tie, we will always discern the others emotions, and we will always have a void if we end our relationship.”
“That’s really uh, intense. No wonder you said we were tied to closely to suit you.” I remember holding that soda can bomb all too well.
“I did not mean that I regretted what I had done. I said that for your benefit. The tiger thought I had arranged the whole situation with Andre to gain greater control over you. He believes I wish to turn you. I was trying to convey that I cared, but did not wish you to be mine. Of course, that was not the case.”
I knew Quinn hated my tie with Eric. I knew Quinn did not trust Eric either. He did think Eric wanted to turn me and had practically said as much. He was always worried I would leave him and go to Eric; I guess he sensed my true feelings, even as I repressed them. I really did like Quinn, and I told myself I wanted more, but I was really lying to myself.
“Do you want to turn me?”
That is a loaded question, and I am conflicted. Sookie’s humanity makes her fragile and she will age. Her fae heritage and a regular infusion of my blood will make the years kinder to her, but she will ultimately wither and fade. I will remain unchanged until my end. I do not know how Sookie will react to the change should I bring her over. This is a issue I have often pondered. She would remain young and beautiful, but I am not certain her zeal would withstand the transition. Sookie has very human values, and no matter what comes to pass, I do not believe she would every truly give them up. This would make her uncertain about coming over and will affect the vampire she would become. Vampires do not normally pair for long, but we are bonded so it is possible we would prevail. She would finally have the physical strength and resilience to compliment her courageous spirit.
“I would not turn you unless I knew it to be you sincere desire.” That is the truth. If she wanted to join me, I would indulge her.
“Eric. Do you want me to be a vampire or not?” She was a touch indignant.
“I am indifferent. I will continue to love you in either case.” That is at least half true.
“How can you be indifferent?” She asks and I sense her indignation growing. She wants me to have conviction, she is offended. That is amusing.
“Sookie my love for you is passionate and unfaltering. There are compelling arguments for you to remain as you are and to join my kind. I have not yet found a definite victor. The choice is ultimately yours, and so I will no longer burden my thoughts with something I have no control over.” I reply. She seems satisfied.
She yawns, arches her back and stretches her arms above her head. I can feel myself begin to stir. My appetite for her is insatiable, but she is exhausted and has a long day ahead. I have waited many nights; I have had her once, I can wait for tomorrow. I kiss her forehead and draw her to me. She needs to rest, and I tell her so. I lie on my back and she rests her head on my chest I wrap my arms around her and our legs entwine. This is as at should be. Soon I will have to crawl into that repulsive crack Bill constructed in her other bedroom. Tomorrow we will discuss light proofing that entire room. I detest crawling into the ground and I know she will not leave her home. Our union will be difficult for her. The community will ostracize her, again. She will become boorish and I will have to work doubly hard to please her. I am not familiar with working at all for companionship. Women fling themselves at me nightly and I do as I wish. Sookie makes me work, and for some reason I am willing.
Tomorrow we will go to Hotshot and deal with the inbred panthers and her substandard brother. I will find out why, once again, my Sookie has been seduced, for someone else’s malevolent purposes. Whoever is responsible will rue the day they were made. It is not apparent who they were attempting to get to, employing my lover as a means of warning. She is linked to the Packmaster of Shreveport, the leader of the werepanthers in Hotshot, her great-grandfather the fairy prince, the King of Nevada (Louisiana and Arkansas) and of course myself. As the bear sought out hunting privileges with the panthers, it is unlikely Calvin was the intended recipient. Of the others, she is dearest to me, than Niall. The king is indebted to Sookie but does not know her value; her loss would not pain him as it would the fairy or I. The packmaster desired Sookie, and they pretended to be involved for a short time, but there is little significance to their association. If the attacker is clever, it could only have been aimed at Niall or me.
I am also wondering who has the power to employ a werebear. They are extremely rare, and it is unlikely that they would risk their existence without substantial compensation. Sookie said that she thought he was from Indiana. Tomorrow I will see the background check Jason ran on the fool and find out as much as possible. I don’t understand how someone could have Sookie and not fall in love with her. She is completely enthralling. I cannot wait to apprehend the one responsible for her pain.
I woke up at eleven to find Eric gone. I guess he got in the hidey-hole sometime before dawn. He will be up around five thirty and then we’ll head to Hotshot. I slide out of bed and straighten it up. I go through the motions of my morning routine, and even though I am very sore and bruised, I feel pretty good. Eric. I sense Amelia’s brain pattern in the kitchen and am excited to tell her about Eric and I. She is just about the only person who will be happy for me. Everyone else will be upset I have another dead boyfriend. Well tough, Eric is the best man for me and they will just have to get used to him.
Amelia is doing the sudoku puzzle from the Times-Picayune she has delivered now. I get some coffee from the pot she made and put some toast in the toaster. She is about to burst she wants to know so badly. I smile as I spread the jelly than pop into the chair across from her and now I am beaming.
“Sookie you had sex!” she proclaims. I should be annoyed but I just can’t I am too giddy.
“Yes and Eric and I are an item.” I almost said Eric was my boyfriend but that just doesn’t sound right.
“It’s about damn time.” Amelia smiles at me. Apparently she had been rooting for us all along.
“He is in the hidey-hole and tonight we are going to go to Hotshot and talk to Calvin and Jason about Kennedy’s background.”
“Yea, Pam told me last night he was going to stay here while he and Bill were talking.”
“Oh, did Bill have anything useful to say?”
“I dunno, he and Eric didn’t say much to me. Pam was chatty, I think she was relieved that you finally were dealing with what’s between you and Eric.”
Pam has said Eric was making things difficult, so Amelia is probably right.
“Oh shoot. I better call Sam!” I know he was worried, and I didn’t bother last night.
“He knows you’re safe, Eric called him while you were in the shower. You have the night off too, you’re lunch shift tomorrow.”
“Oh, ok. That’s perfect.” That was very considerate of Eric. “Well, I guess I’ll call Jason and Calvin and set something up for tonight then.”
“Hey, you think Eric would mind if I tagged along? I might be helpful.” Amelia asked.
“Sure you can come, believe me it isn’t like a date or anything.” I told her as I washed my plate and mug.
“Ok then, I will get some basic stuff together just in case.” She smiled and ran up the steps.
I had some errands to run so I grabbed my keys and headed for the car. People in town were polite and said they were glad I was home safe, but I knew from their heads no one was surprised. I guess Sam and Amelia reported me missing. I can’t believe they didn’t call Eric. They know about our bond, so they knew he could track me. Maybe they were scared he was upset I was seeing Kennedy. I could tell from tie that much was true. He came anyway. He will protect me and be true to me. Well actually we hadn’t gotten to how true I expect him to be. Tonight I will make sure he knows that servicing fangbangers in any manner is unacceptable. Sookie Stackhouse and bottled blood are all he’s getting from now on and he better like it.
By the time I exchanged my library books, went to the bank, the post office and the Piggly Wiggly, it was nearly five. Eric will be up soon and I was eager to get home.
I got to the house just as he was rising; he had me again on my former bed. I am so glad Octavia went back to New Orleans. When we were finished I told him Jason was going to meet us at Calvin’s at eight. He agreed having Amelia along is a good idea. We all got ready and took my Malibu. Eric drove, but I know he hated the car. He was contemplating smashing it into something just so he could buy me a new one.
TBC
Friday, January 9, 2009
Shimmer Chapter 2
Chapter 2
I walk into my room and glance out the window to find Eric, Pam and Bill all talking near the tree line in my yard. I guess Eric called Bill to see what he knows about Kennedy and why he would attack me. Smart. I expect as much from Eric. I just hope he doesn’t expect me to let Bill in here. I really don’t have a reason not to (at least not a new and pressing one) and if he is going to help it would be polite, but I don’t want to be polite. I want to take a shower, talk to Eric (have mind-numbing sex) and go to sleep. Well I think I will cross one of those of my list right now. I walked into my bathroom, shucked the rags that used to be my clothes, started the water, and with a reluctant sigh flipped the lock. The little lock on my bathroom door wouldn’t stop Amelia much less Eric if they really wanted in, but I know he won’t bust in without a serious reason (she might be another story). Naked in the shower is not how our conversation needs to begin, as much as I would L-O-V-E a replay of our first shower together.
Kennedy had whipped both my back and my legs when I was restrained and the hot water stung the open lacerations, but I had to get clean. My grimy hair was stuck in the wounds, dried blood was everywhere and I was just plain dirty. I washed and washed and washed until Eric knocked lightly on the door and asked if I was alright. I decided I was as clean as I was going to get and cut the water off. I told him I would be out in a minute and he seemed to find that answer sufficient. I combed out my hair and put it in a bun on the top of my head. Not attractive and not my norm but I didn’t want to risk hair sticking to those wounds again. I slipped on my nylon robe, put on my moisturizer and wished I had thought to grab underwear on my way in. When I entered my room I was relieved and surprised to not see Eric in it. I grabbed some panties out of my drawer and awkwardly shimmied into them. I decided to forgo a nightgown, at least for the moment as the thought of getting into one was too much to bear.
I peeked into the hall and discovered Eric, Pam and Amelia all in the living room. I walked out and they all stood. Amelia announced that she was going to bed and all but skipped up the stairs. Pam leered at me for a moment and I realized I hadn’t pulled my robe quite tight enough and it was obvious to all I skipped the nightgown. Oh well they have both seen me before. She told me to stop getting kidnapped and with a “tomorrow boss” to Eric she was out the door.
And then there were two.
I looked at him and he looked at me and for a moment it seemed as if neither of us could move. There was so much to be said. So many wrongs, Eric was mighty ambitious if he thought we could “accomplish” anything tonight. I am not convinced that we will be able to stop staring at each other. As if he heard my thoughts Eric moved but did not break his gaze. His brilliant blue eyes were fixated on me and I was exhilarated and terrified. I know how I feel about Eric, but I have never said it aloud, and he will know if I am lying. I will have to be honest. Even if I didn’t have to be, hadn’t he earned it?
She is breathtaking. Well if I had any breath she would surely take it. Standing there in that thin sheath she is the most stunning creature I have ever encountered. Wet coiled up hair bruises and all. I knew she was nervous, even frightened. I knew she enjoyed looking at me as much as I did her. I knew neither of us wanted to stop, but we have matters to attend to. I could not take my eyes off her but I forced myself to move. I walked to her and took her hand in mine. “Dear one, would you like to sit her on the couch or would you be more comfortable in your room? I promise to be a gentleman, at least until we have completed our discussion.”
“Well if you really can keep your hands to yourself, I would like to talk in bed; I am exhausted and really want to snuggle up under my quilt.”
“Of course” I reply but I know she can feel my desire.
She starts to climb into her high bed but I know that she is in pain so I lay her in it and make sure she is comfortable. As I slide in next to her I am aware of the wounds on her back and decide that I need to inspect her thoroughly. I would have done so while she was showering but she locked the door and I didn’t want her to think I was intruding. I feel her lust and apprehension as I disrobe her.
“Hey there I thought we agreed no funny business” she says with a sharp look.
“Lover I assure you I am not being funny I simply have not seen the full extent of your injuries and would like to have a more through look.” I reply, which is mostly honest. I have often fantasized seeing her naked again but not under such circumstances. Dr. Viking MD I hear directly from her brain. I wonder how my telepath would feel if she knew about my occasional glimpses into her psyche. I will find out soon enough I suppose.
“Fine” she submits and rolls to her left so that I can slide the nylon off her shoulder. If only she were always this obedient.
I could not suppress my grimace as I see the extent of the whips use. I know she can feel my fury rising. I kiss her between the shoulder blades and force myself to regain composure.
“Oh Sookie, I am so glad they are all dead, I only wish that last had truly been at my hands. Turn over my lover so that I may see your front.”
“How bad is it?” She asks with genuine curiosity.
“I do not believe they intended to kill you. This is obviously a message, but to whom? My dear, you are far too entrenched in supernatural politics to suit me.”
“Me too” she replies, immediately regretting it. She feels guilty. She knows my rank, and does not want to alienate me further. She is so endearing.
“Who is this Kennedy and how did you come to be his woman?” I ask without thinking, that mistake will set me back; Sookie Stackhouse is nothing if not her own woman.
Her annoyance is immediately apparent. She can be very immature, which is disconcerting but I will appease her quickly.
“I am my own woman and you well know it Eric Northman” she tried to scold me as I repress a grin.
“Please enlighten me of your most recent liaison, my dear Sookie” I say with the most remorseful smile I can collect, I am not pleased she was seeing yet another man after we have been bonded.
The ethereal creature lying beside me inhales deep, and I cannot help but observe her exposed chest. I remember her taste all too well. This will be a challenge.
“Jason says that Kennedy moved here about six months ago from someplace up north, Indiana maybe? Anyway, he took a job under Jason on the road crew, and of course they both knew they were weres.”
This is not pleasing; she would rather date a pawn of her simpleton brother than me. I clench my jaw and give a look meant to indicate continue. I conceal my emotions to the extent of my control. Something slipping through the bond or from my lips could antagonize her again. That is a hindrance I can ill afford.
“Well after Crystal lost the baby, Jason and I patched things up, and he introduced me to Kennedy around the end of October. It wasn’t serious. He was just fun. He took me dancing and out to eat. He kept me distracted.” She gave me a rueful look and than broke our gaze.
“Sookie, I do not fully understand why you needed to be distracted from my attentions, but we will address that after I learn how you became detained in Monroe.”
“All right. Well Kennedy and I didn’t have any plans but he showed up at my house the day before yesterday and said he had a surprise for me. I feel so stupid now; I was an accomplice in my own kidnapping. He told me he didn’t want me to see where we were going because it would give away the surprise, so he blindfolded me with a scarf from my own damn drawer.” This time she released her air with a “huff” and the effect was just as enchanting. I averted my eyes. I didn’t murmur a syllable. I wanted her to finish.
“Well, I guess I was caught up in the romance of it all. I figured he was takin’ me to the theater in Shreveport or somethin’. I mean his brain was a lot foggier than any other were I know, but I could still get snippets and it was clearer when we touched. I guess I figured that since I could read his mind being blindfolded wasn’t a big deal. Boy was I dumb.”
“Sookie, you are many things, however dumb is not among them.” I look at her, she constantly underestimates herself. Well with the exception of her own humanity. She tends to risk her own life more often than is requisite.
“Well when he stopped the car I knew we weren’t in Shreveport, the ride wasn’t long enough. I knew there were other weres there, wherever he had taken me, but I didn’t sense any danger until he took me inside. When I tried to balk, he seized my wrists hard and kicked me in the back of the knees. Than that girl who, umm, shot herself ripped off the scarf and hit me over the head with a cast iron pot. The next thing I remember I was cuffed to a toilet, gettin’ whipped and praying you knew I was uh, callin’ you.” Her accent was stronger, maybe because of all her emotions. Mmmh, why do I find that erotic? No time.
“You habitually choose the wrong men my love. I plan to remedy that tonight. It seems that any knowledge we may glean about your attacker’s purpose will not come tonight. Tomorrow we will call your brother, and find out as much as we can. As his employer he will have access to his records and from them and the panthers in Hotshot we will find out as much as we can. I assume the bear hunted with the panthers? “
“Yes. As soon as Kennedy moved here he met with Calvin and attained ‘hunting privileges’ or whatever.”
I nodded. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone to call Pam, I took Sookie’s hand to imply my words are as much for her as my second.
“I will not be returning tomorrow. My presence is necessary here.”
“No, you are not required nor are anyone else. Should I require assistance, you will be the first to know.”
“You also.”
I returned the phone to my pocket and my full attention to my beloved.
“I guess that means you want to talk to Calvin and Jason.” She said, a little irritated.
“My lover, I want us to speak to Calvin and Jason. I sought to express this under different conditions, but you avoided me with great determination, so now it shall be. I want to be with you Sookie, and I intend it to be very serious.”
She looked shocked. She began to tear up. I gathered her to me, wishing I had not been so courteous to put on a fresh shirt. I wanted to feel her skin on mine. I had felt frozen in her absence, and she was initiating a thaw. I felt some of her insecurity melt away as she accepted my mouth and drew my lower lip between hers. I felt my fangs run down and my urgency swell. Grudgingly, I pulled away, but I took her face in my hands, so she knew it was not in rejection. She is so delicate. It is obvious her apprehension, at least in part, was because she did not believe my feeling when I was cursed were true. Wrong, wrong, wrong, silly woman.
“Eric, when you stayed with me, everything was so easy.”
I raised my eyebrow. There had been a war an few attempts on her life and a murder, not what I would consider uncomplicated.
She whispered a giggle and elaborated.
“Between us. It was easy for you to love me, I was all you had of your own. You were told that you were powerful and had many assets, but I was all that was tangible. I was your, uh, lover. That was easy too. We always had chemistry, with all your politics out of the way I could let you in, and I guess your, um, taste didn’t change with your memories went missing. And I was here; ya know proximity and privacy made it easy too.
“That that you were the one around and are immensely attractive may have been why I fucked you, I am nothing if not opportunistic, but it is not why I loved you, why I still do.” She was silent; well I have more to say.
“I knew there was something about you from the first time you walked into my bar in that dress with the red flowers, I hated that you were with Bill. You looked gorgeous and I found him unworthy of such a prize. I tried to influence you, at that point it was purely lust, when I discovered you were immune to glamour, you became a fascination. I knew that I had to find a way to keep you around. When I learned you were telepathic, I had a reason to summon you. You challenged me Sookie, something humans just don’t do, you would not obey me unless it was on your terms, that is a quality I could not ignore, though it brings me great frustration. Money had nothing to do with my staking Long Shadow. I have followed you everywhere you have gone to ensure your safe return, and because the more I knew you the more I wanted to be near you. After my curse was broken I could barely think of anything but you. I did not know that I loved you, but I ached for you. I was vacant. At our exchange is Rhodes, I realized, though I still did not remember being at your home. When I found Andre trying to force you it was immediately apparent, and I knew bonding in such a way could work against me, but it was necessary. I feared the tiger would be a setback, but when you came and saved me and my child I knew you loved me as well. It was not the bond that made you come to me. I was resting and unable to sense the danger, you came on your own accord. I knew then that you would be mine, but I waited so you could come to that realization on your own. When I regained my memories I was not surprised, it only made my patience that much harder to maintain. Sookie, if I seemed distant I did not intend too, I was merely attempting to give you space.”
Still no response, I know she loves me as well, but she is conflicted, why? Have I not established my merit countless times? Have I not been there to rescue her when the numerous inferior suitors left her in abandon? She is bewildering and infuriating. She refuses to heel and will make me appear weak to my kind. She is adolescent and wavering. She will surely be my end. Yet, she has made me experience in ways no other had in a century of nights. She has saved me from an eternity of contentment and opened me a whole new array of emotions; she has showed me love and given me ecstasy. She will mature, she is worth the nuisance.
TBC
I walk into my room and glance out the window to find Eric, Pam and Bill all talking near the tree line in my yard. I guess Eric called Bill to see what he knows about Kennedy and why he would attack me. Smart. I expect as much from Eric. I just hope he doesn’t expect me to let Bill in here. I really don’t have a reason not to (at least not a new and pressing one) and if he is going to help it would be polite, but I don’t want to be polite. I want to take a shower, talk to Eric (have mind-numbing sex) and go to sleep. Well I think I will cross one of those of my list right now. I walked into my bathroom, shucked the rags that used to be my clothes, started the water, and with a reluctant sigh flipped the lock. The little lock on my bathroom door wouldn’t stop Amelia much less Eric if they really wanted in, but I know he won’t bust in without a serious reason (she might be another story). Naked in the shower is not how our conversation needs to begin, as much as I would L-O-V-E a replay of our first shower together.
Kennedy had whipped both my back and my legs when I was restrained and the hot water stung the open lacerations, but I had to get clean. My grimy hair was stuck in the wounds, dried blood was everywhere and I was just plain dirty. I washed and washed and washed until Eric knocked lightly on the door and asked if I was alright. I decided I was as clean as I was going to get and cut the water off. I told him I would be out in a minute and he seemed to find that answer sufficient. I combed out my hair and put it in a bun on the top of my head. Not attractive and not my norm but I didn’t want to risk hair sticking to those wounds again. I slipped on my nylon robe, put on my moisturizer and wished I had thought to grab underwear on my way in. When I entered my room I was relieved and surprised to not see Eric in it. I grabbed some panties out of my drawer and awkwardly shimmied into them. I decided to forgo a nightgown, at least for the moment as the thought of getting into one was too much to bear.
I peeked into the hall and discovered Eric, Pam and Amelia all in the living room. I walked out and they all stood. Amelia announced that she was going to bed and all but skipped up the stairs. Pam leered at me for a moment and I realized I hadn’t pulled my robe quite tight enough and it was obvious to all I skipped the nightgown. Oh well they have both seen me before. She told me to stop getting kidnapped and with a “tomorrow boss” to Eric she was out the door.
And then there were two.
I looked at him and he looked at me and for a moment it seemed as if neither of us could move. There was so much to be said. So many wrongs, Eric was mighty ambitious if he thought we could “accomplish” anything tonight. I am not convinced that we will be able to stop staring at each other. As if he heard my thoughts Eric moved but did not break his gaze. His brilliant blue eyes were fixated on me and I was exhilarated and terrified. I know how I feel about Eric, but I have never said it aloud, and he will know if I am lying. I will have to be honest. Even if I didn’t have to be, hadn’t he earned it?
She is breathtaking. Well if I had any breath she would surely take it. Standing there in that thin sheath she is the most stunning creature I have ever encountered. Wet coiled up hair bruises and all. I knew she was nervous, even frightened. I knew she enjoyed looking at me as much as I did her. I knew neither of us wanted to stop, but we have matters to attend to. I could not take my eyes off her but I forced myself to move. I walked to her and took her hand in mine. “Dear one, would you like to sit her on the couch or would you be more comfortable in your room? I promise to be a gentleman, at least until we have completed our discussion.”
“Well if you really can keep your hands to yourself, I would like to talk in bed; I am exhausted and really want to snuggle up under my quilt.”
“Of course” I reply but I know she can feel my desire.
She starts to climb into her high bed but I know that she is in pain so I lay her in it and make sure she is comfortable. As I slide in next to her I am aware of the wounds on her back and decide that I need to inspect her thoroughly. I would have done so while she was showering but she locked the door and I didn’t want her to think I was intruding. I feel her lust and apprehension as I disrobe her.
“Hey there I thought we agreed no funny business” she says with a sharp look.
“Lover I assure you I am not being funny I simply have not seen the full extent of your injuries and would like to have a more through look.” I reply, which is mostly honest. I have often fantasized seeing her naked again but not under such circumstances. Dr. Viking MD I hear directly from her brain. I wonder how my telepath would feel if she knew about my occasional glimpses into her psyche. I will find out soon enough I suppose.
“Fine” she submits and rolls to her left so that I can slide the nylon off her shoulder. If only she were always this obedient.
I could not suppress my grimace as I see the extent of the whips use. I know she can feel my fury rising. I kiss her between the shoulder blades and force myself to regain composure.
“Oh Sookie, I am so glad they are all dead, I only wish that last had truly been at my hands. Turn over my lover so that I may see your front.”
“How bad is it?” She asks with genuine curiosity.
“I do not believe they intended to kill you. This is obviously a message, but to whom? My dear, you are far too entrenched in supernatural politics to suit me.”
“Me too” she replies, immediately regretting it. She feels guilty. She knows my rank, and does not want to alienate me further. She is so endearing.
“Who is this Kennedy and how did you come to be his woman?” I ask without thinking, that mistake will set me back; Sookie Stackhouse is nothing if not her own woman.
Her annoyance is immediately apparent. She can be very immature, which is disconcerting but I will appease her quickly.
“I am my own woman and you well know it Eric Northman” she tried to scold me as I repress a grin.
“Please enlighten me of your most recent liaison, my dear Sookie” I say with the most remorseful smile I can collect, I am not pleased she was seeing yet another man after we have been bonded.
The ethereal creature lying beside me inhales deep, and I cannot help but observe her exposed chest. I remember her taste all too well. This will be a challenge.
“Jason says that Kennedy moved here about six months ago from someplace up north, Indiana maybe? Anyway, he took a job under Jason on the road crew, and of course they both knew they were weres.”
This is not pleasing; she would rather date a pawn of her simpleton brother than me. I clench my jaw and give a look meant to indicate continue. I conceal my emotions to the extent of my control. Something slipping through the bond or from my lips could antagonize her again. That is a hindrance I can ill afford.
“Well after Crystal lost the baby, Jason and I patched things up, and he introduced me to Kennedy around the end of October. It wasn’t serious. He was just fun. He took me dancing and out to eat. He kept me distracted.” She gave me a rueful look and than broke our gaze.
“Sookie, I do not fully understand why you needed to be distracted from my attentions, but we will address that after I learn how you became detained in Monroe.”
“All right. Well Kennedy and I didn’t have any plans but he showed up at my house the day before yesterday and said he had a surprise for me. I feel so stupid now; I was an accomplice in my own kidnapping. He told me he didn’t want me to see where we were going because it would give away the surprise, so he blindfolded me with a scarf from my own damn drawer.” This time she released her air with a “huff” and the effect was just as enchanting. I averted my eyes. I didn’t murmur a syllable. I wanted her to finish.
“Well, I guess I was caught up in the romance of it all. I figured he was takin’ me to the theater in Shreveport or somethin’. I mean his brain was a lot foggier than any other were I know, but I could still get snippets and it was clearer when we touched. I guess I figured that since I could read his mind being blindfolded wasn’t a big deal. Boy was I dumb.”
“Sookie, you are many things, however dumb is not among them.” I look at her, she constantly underestimates herself. Well with the exception of her own humanity. She tends to risk her own life more often than is requisite.
“Well when he stopped the car I knew we weren’t in Shreveport, the ride wasn’t long enough. I knew there were other weres there, wherever he had taken me, but I didn’t sense any danger until he took me inside. When I tried to balk, he seized my wrists hard and kicked me in the back of the knees. Than that girl who, umm, shot herself ripped off the scarf and hit me over the head with a cast iron pot. The next thing I remember I was cuffed to a toilet, gettin’ whipped and praying you knew I was uh, callin’ you.” Her accent was stronger, maybe because of all her emotions. Mmmh, why do I find that erotic? No time.
“You habitually choose the wrong men my love. I plan to remedy that tonight. It seems that any knowledge we may glean about your attacker’s purpose will not come tonight. Tomorrow we will call your brother, and find out as much as we can. As his employer he will have access to his records and from them and the panthers in Hotshot we will find out as much as we can. I assume the bear hunted with the panthers? “
“Yes. As soon as Kennedy moved here he met with Calvin and attained ‘hunting privileges’ or whatever.”
I nodded. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone to call Pam, I took Sookie’s hand to imply my words are as much for her as my second.
“I will not be returning tomorrow. My presence is necessary here.”
“No, you are not required nor are anyone else. Should I require assistance, you will be the first to know.”
“You also.”
I returned the phone to my pocket and my full attention to my beloved.
“I guess that means you want to talk to Calvin and Jason.” She said, a little irritated.
“My lover, I want us to speak to Calvin and Jason. I sought to express this under different conditions, but you avoided me with great determination, so now it shall be. I want to be with you Sookie, and I intend it to be very serious.”
She looked shocked. She began to tear up. I gathered her to me, wishing I had not been so courteous to put on a fresh shirt. I wanted to feel her skin on mine. I had felt frozen in her absence, and she was initiating a thaw. I felt some of her insecurity melt away as she accepted my mouth and drew my lower lip between hers. I felt my fangs run down and my urgency swell. Grudgingly, I pulled away, but I took her face in my hands, so she knew it was not in rejection. She is so delicate. It is obvious her apprehension, at least in part, was because she did not believe my feeling when I was cursed were true. Wrong, wrong, wrong, silly woman.
“Eric, when you stayed with me, everything was so easy.”
I raised my eyebrow. There had been a war an few attempts on her life and a murder, not what I would consider uncomplicated.
She whispered a giggle and elaborated.
“Between us. It was easy for you to love me, I was all you had of your own. You were told that you were powerful and had many assets, but I was all that was tangible. I was your, uh, lover. That was easy too. We always had chemistry, with all your politics out of the way I could let you in, and I guess your, um, taste didn’t change with your memories went missing. And I was here; ya know proximity and privacy made it easy too.
“That that you were the one around and are immensely attractive may have been why I fucked you, I am nothing if not opportunistic, but it is not why I loved you, why I still do.” She was silent; well I have more to say.
“I knew there was something about you from the first time you walked into my bar in that dress with the red flowers, I hated that you were with Bill. You looked gorgeous and I found him unworthy of such a prize. I tried to influence you, at that point it was purely lust, when I discovered you were immune to glamour, you became a fascination. I knew that I had to find a way to keep you around. When I learned you were telepathic, I had a reason to summon you. You challenged me Sookie, something humans just don’t do, you would not obey me unless it was on your terms, that is a quality I could not ignore, though it brings me great frustration. Money had nothing to do with my staking Long Shadow. I have followed you everywhere you have gone to ensure your safe return, and because the more I knew you the more I wanted to be near you. After my curse was broken I could barely think of anything but you. I did not know that I loved you, but I ached for you. I was vacant. At our exchange is Rhodes, I realized, though I still did not remember being at your home. When I found Andre trying to force you it was immediately apparent, and I knew bonding in such a way could work against me, but it was necessary. I feared the tiger would be a setback, but when you came and saved me and my child I knew you loved me as well. It was not the bond that made you come to me. I was resting and unable to sense the danger, you came on your own accord. I knew then that you would be mine, but I waited so you could come to that realization on your own. When I regained my memories I was not surprised, it only made my patience that much harder to maintain. Sookie, if I seemed distant I did not intend too, I was merely attempting to give you space.”
Still no response, I know she loves me as well, but she is conflicted, why? Have I not established my merit countless times? Have I not been there to rescue her when the numerous inferior suitors left her in abandon? She is bewildering and infuriating. She refuses to heel and will make me appear weak to my kind. She is adolescent and wavering. She will surely be my end. Yet, she has made me experience in ways no other had in a century of nights. She has saved me from an eternity of contentment and opened me a whole new array of emotions; she has showed me love and given me ecstasy. She will mature, she is worth the nuisance.
TBC
Shimmer Chapter 1
This is my long in progress Southern Vampire fanfic. I will update as I complete it. Hope you like it!!!!
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Out of nowhere, I heard her.
It was cold, even for me. To my dismay, I have been in a dreadful state, somehow the last few months I have felt lower than at any other time in my 1000 years. It has been months since we have spoken, and our last conversation had not ended in accordance to my plans. It has taken every ounce of resolve in me (and over time I have acquired a substantial amount) to maintain this grueling separation. More than once I have found myself half-way to that backwater she calls home only to turn around knowing she would feel my presence and that would only fuel her distaste. She is so stubborn. She is so much trouble. That is why I am so distraught by her reaching out to me. She must be in dire straights.
“Eric!!!” I hear her in my mind she sounds so distraught, so insecure, so, so beautiful.
“Eric, Eric please hear me Eric!” It is the equivalent of shrieking inside my head…I will kill whoever has harmed her. She is uncertain that I will hear her, she is even more uncertain that I will respond. She should know better. I try to calm her through our tie, but it offers little solace, I am still to far from her. This does not bode well. I reach back to her “it’s all right my lover, I am coming. Try to calm yourself. I will protect you. I will always protect you.” I feel that she relaxes but only slightly. I have been tracking her through our bond, but now I can pick up her scent. I smell her, her and Shifter. More than one shifter. Fucking two natured Sookie, will you never learn?
I arrive at something’s filthy excuse for a home. Her scents are everywhere. I can smell her blood, her distress, her fear, and something else…she is ashamed? Uugghhh. She is so much trouble, why do I bother? It’s no use. There is no fooling myself or her either, I must bother, and even if I could have ignored her call, I wouldn’t have.
“I am here, can you speak?”
“Yes, I am in…” she is cut off as I throw a ridiculous miniature chopper through a plate glass window effectively hitting the shameless idiot who drove it here. Our tie told me exactly where she was. “Invite me in” I start to push to her but she is already yelling “COME IN!!!”
Oh they will die for this, they will all die. These disgusting excuses have beaten and bloodied her and bound her to a toilet. For that extra humiliation they will pay dearly. Most of them have scattered. One has the gall to lunge at me and I snap their neck in the air. I am on full alert and reveling in the prospect that many will die tonight, even better, in the name of my beloved. Sookie is watching me, and she is not frightened of me, she is comforted by my presence. I would imagine it hard for a fragile human woman to be comforted by a towering ancient vampire who so clearly has battle written all over him, but she makes it look easy. There is hope.
Two are trying to catch me unaware from behind with a snapped table leg. Ha! I turn use that very leg to impale them both. Two more ascend from behind a battered old couch and I snap one’s spine easily and the other is ended by a mighty blow to his abdomen, his last second alive is spent spurting blood onto my shirt from his gaping mouth. The bloodlust is strong but her presence gives me the resolve to resist. I look at her for extra strength and if it weren’t for the urgency on her face I may have been caught unawares. I turn to see a small female were with a gun she fired off two shots before I was able to knock the pistol down and secure her by the throat. With my left hand I begin to squeeze and as her freckled face begins to turn blue and I realize that I should not kill her. She seems to be the only one left, and we must find out who is responsible
I drop the woman and plant my foot on her chest, firm enough to subdue her but not to end her life. She gulps for air as I drop the two bullets and wipe my hand on my already ruined shirt. It was a giveaway from a supplier anyway.
Grabbing there were by her ankles I drag her to where Sookie is cuffed to the exposed piping leading up from a filthy toilet, I break the cuffs on both her hands and ankles and inspect her for wounds. She is dirty and bruised. Her cheekbone looks to be broken and there are whip marks on her thighs. I grab her up and draw her to me. I inhale her sweet scent. She not only allowed my embrace but she all but burrowed into me. She began to sob. All her fear was gone leaving only shame and love.
“Oh Eric, Eric I am so sorry.” She pleads into my chest. I can feel her blood and tears on my chest as they bleed through the cotton of my shirt. I commandeer her chin and lick her face clean finishing with a soft kiss on her lips.
“Now is not the time my lover, we will have time for that. There are far more pressing matters at hand” I say and shift my gaze to the woman below my boot. She spits at me and I increase the pressure. She must be feeling better.
Chapter 1
I tried to take as much comfort as I could from the smile the Viking God was giving me as he all but shattered the were’s sternum with his boot. I guess that doesn’t say much for me. This was wrong in everyway I could imagine. I had rejected Eric three months ago. Not because Eric is undesirable. In fact I desire him plenty. Eric and I are complicated to say the least and I was not ready to deal with everything being with Eric (hell even discussing being with Eric) meant. Instead I chose to ignore everything between us and I had even started seeing a werebear that had been hanging around with my brother. His name was Kennedy. I say was because Eric drove a table leg through his chest about five minutes ago and I don’t think he will be recovering anytime soon. And I just don’t care. I just want to go back in time and talk things out with Eric instead of doing my damnedest to alienate, embarrass and infuriate him. Not the first time either. I don’t know why he came tonight, but I am sure glad her did. If he hadn’t I would surely be dead.
“Ok bitch, who hired you” Eric hissed at the woman on the floor. She laughed and told Eric to go do something I don’t want to repeat, but wouldn’t mind doing for him. Jesus Christ Shepard of Judea I should not be thinking about that. It had been too long since I had seen him, and even longer since I have been with a man, but that is no excuse. Eric himself did not seem phased, he just stated “Tell me why you have kidnapped my lover, or you will be very sorry.” The were snorted “ha your lover, she’s been fucking Kennedy over there for at least two months, not that he was ever really interested in that tramp she will jump on any dick, as long as it ain’t attached to a human.” Ok that got a rise out of him. He kicked her clean across the floor. He obviously wasn’t thinking because she came to a stop a little to close to her gun and even before he could stop her she has shot herself in the head. Eric looked at the brain tissue on the wall and said “Well that was preferable to aiming at you.” He came to me again and scooped me up and smelled me hard allover my body. “You have not been with that bear, have you my lover?” he said with a satisfied smile. Leave it to Eric to ignore the pile of dead bodies and inquire about my bedmate. “Not that it is any of your business, but no.”
“Oh, Sookie, you should remember that YOU called out to ME.”
Well damn he had me there that was enough to shut me up and besides as much as I don’t want to admit it, it kind of is his business.
“I don’t have the energy to get into this now Eric, can’t we just clean up and go home.”
“Of course, you are right dear one but I want you to know this habit of putting off significant conversations is about to be broken.”
I had nothing to say, he was right. We had a lot to talk about, and if I wouldn’t have put it off to begin with, we would likely not be in this mess.
I’ll spare you all the gory details, but after the dirty work was done Eric and I walked outside to find Pam standing next to her Toyota. She was gazing off into the night sky, looking as dreamy as a vampire can look. When she heard us approaching ended her star gazing and smiled at me. Eric must have flown and called Pam at some point to pick us up. Wow, I really need to suck it up and consider Eric for who is; all of him, not just the obvious points.
Pam began to open her mouth but Eric held up a hand in warning. Pam looked scolded for about half a second but than just got into the driver’s seat. I guess Eric didn’t feel like being chided by Pam’s sense of humor; I however was looking forward to it.
Eric opened the rear passenger side door and gestured for me to enter. Much to my surprise he followed and gathered me up to him. Pam didn’t have anything to say about playing chauffeur but I could tell from her expression in the rearview that she was amused.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Pam I take it Clancy has things under control at Fangtasia?” Eric stated more than asked. Pam answered, I was happy enough to let them talk vamp stuff well I relaxed in the comfort that came from being around Eric, especially this close to Eric. I was about to tune out when I heard Eric say “ Take us to Sookie’s house I will try to be back by eight tomorrow, if that is not possible I will call you before.”
“You’re coming home with me?” I asked sounding a little unstable I am sure.
“Yes” well that was simple enough.
“But why don’t we…”
“No, this is best, it is 1 am we have much to discuss; any other way and we will not have time to accomplish anything before dawn.”
“Fine” I replied. Eric was surprised I didn’t put up more of a fight but It was obvious he was concrete on this and if we were going to talk I needed to save up all my energy.
They rest of the drive home was fairly silent. Eric seemed to be finding as much comfort (pleasure, longing, lust) in me as I was in him and it was a wonderful feeling. I felt at home. I guess most people wouldn’t feel at home with a 1000 year old undead Viking, but I had never felt more so in my life. Everything felt right, but as I heard the gravel crunch and knew we were now at my actual home, I was reminded of how profoundly wrong things really were.
As we got out of the car Amelia, my witchy roommate (as of this week my only witchy roommate) ran out onto the porch and bounded down my front steps. Ignoring both vampires she ran up and embraced me so hard I thought she might be trying to choke the life right out of me. When she finally let go she regarded me and I could tell she had been worried sick, not just by reading her mind either it was written allover her face. Eric and Pam more or less ignored Amelia and proceeded right into the house; I knew they were checking things out. I told Amelia that we would talk tomorrow but the short version was that Kennedy had kidnapped me for an unknown reason and Eric saved the day. My very own (big blonde gorgeous) superhero. I caught from Amelia’s mind that she didn’t know why I wasn’t with Eric to begin with, rude I know but I am tired and she is a strong broadcaster. It didn’t matter anyway, because as we were walking up the steps she said “Sookie, I just don’t get it, wouldn’t you rather have a dead boyfriend then a boyfriend who wants you dead?”
TBC
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Out of nowhere, I heard her.
It was cold, even for me. To my dismay, I have been in a dreadful state, somehow the last few months I have felt lower than at any other time in my 1000 years. It has been months since we have spoken, and our last conversation had not ended in accordance to my plans. It has taken every ounce of resolve in me (and over time I have acquired a substantial amount) to maintain this grueling separation. More than once I have found myself half-way to that backwater she calls home only to turn around knowing she would feel my presence and that would only fuel her distaste. She is so stubborn. She is so much trouble. That is why I am so distraught by her reaching out to me. She must be in dire straights.
“Eric!!!” I hear her in my mind she sounds so distraught, so insecure, so, so beautiful.
“Eric, Eric please hear me Eric!” It is the equivalent of shrieking inside my head…I will kill whoever has harmed her. She is uncertain that I will hear her, she is even more uncertain that I will respond. She should know better. I try to calm her through our tie, but it offers little solace, I am still to far from her. This does not bode well. I reach back to her “it’s all right my lover, I am coming. Try to calm yourself. I will protect you. I will always protect you.” I feel that she relaxes but only slightly. I have been tracking her through our bond, but now I can pick up her scent. I smell her, her and Shifter. More than one shifter. Fucking two natured Sookie, will you never learn?
I arrive at something’s filthy excuse for a home. Her scents are everywhere. I can smell her blood, her distress, her fear, and something else…she is ashamed? Uugghhh. She is so much trouble, why do I bother? It’s no use. There is no fooling myself or her either, I must bother, and even if I could have ignored her call, I wouldn’t have.
“I am here, can you speak?”
“Yes, I am in…” she is cut off as I throw a ridiculous miniature chopper through a plate glass window effectively hitting the shameless idiot who drove it here. Our tie told me exactly where she was. “Invite me in” I start to push to her but she is already yelling “COME IN!!!”
Oh they will die for this, they will all die. These disgusting excuses have beaten and bloodied her and bound her to a toilet. For that extra humiliation they will pay dearly. Most of them have scattered. One has the gall to lunge at me and I snap their neck in the air. I am on full alert and reveling in the prospect that many will die tonight, even better, in the name of my beloved. Sookie is watching me, and she is not frightened of me, she is comforted by my presence. I would imagine it hard for a fragile human woman to be comforted by a towering ancient vampire who so clearly has battle written all over him, but she makes it look easy. There is hope.
Two are trying to catch me unaware from behind with a snapped table leg. Ha! I turn use that very leg to impale them both. Two more ascend from behind a battered old couch and I snap one’s spine easily and the other is ended by a mighty blow to his abdomen, his last second alive is spent spurting blood onto my shirt from his gaping mouth. The bloodlust is strong but her presence gives me the resolve to resist. I look at her for extra strength and if it weren’t for the urgency on her face I may have been caught unawares. I turn to see a small female were with a gun she fired off two shots before I was able to knock the pistol down and secure her by the throat. With my left hand I begin to squeeze and as her freckled face begins to turn blue and I realize that I should not kill her. She seems to be the only one left, and we must find out who is responsible
I drop the woman and plant my foot on her chest, firm enough to subdue her but not to end her life. She gulps for air as I drop the two bullets and wipe my hand on my already ruined shirt. It was a giveaway from a supplier anyway.
Grabbing there were by her ankles I drag her to where Sookie is cuffed to the exposed piping leading up from a filthy toilet, I break the cuffs on both her hands and ankles and inspect her for wounds. She is dirty and bruised. Her cheekbone looks to be broken and there are whip marks on her thighs. I grab her up and draw her to me. I inhale her sweet scent. She not only allowed my embrace but she all but burrowed into me. She began to sob. All her fear was gone leaving only shame and love.
“Oh Eric, Eric I am so sorry.” She pleads into my chest. I can feel her blood and tears on my chest as they bleed through the cotton of my shirt. I commandeer her chin and lick her face clean finishing with a soft kiss on her lips.
“Now is not the time my lover, we will have time for that. There are far more pressing matters at hand” I say and shift my gaze to the woman below my boot. She spits at me and I increase the pressure. She must be feeling better.
Chapter 1
I tried to take as much comfort as I could from the smile the Viking God was giving me as he all but shattered the were’s sternum with his boot. I guess that doesn’t say much for me. This was wrong in everyway I could imagine. I had rejected Eric three months ago. Not because Eric is undesirable. In fact I desire him plenty. Eric and I are complicated to say the least and I was not ready to deal with everything being with Eric (hell even discussing being with Eric) meant. Instead I chose to ignore everything between us and I had even started seeing a werebear that had been hanging around with my brother. His name was Kennedy. I say was because Eric drove a table leg through his chest about five minutes ago and I don’t think he will be recovering anytime soon. And I just don’t care. I just want to go back in time and talk things out with Eric instead of doing my damnedest to alienate, embarrass and infuriate him. Not the first time either. I don’t know why he came tonight, but I am sure glad her did. If he hadn’t I would surely be dead.
“Ok bitch, who hired you” Eric hissed at the woman on the floor. She laughed and told Eric to go do something I don’t want to repeat, but wouldn’t mind doing for him. Jesus Christ Shepard of Judea I should not be thinking about that. It had been too long since I had seen him, and even longer since I have been with a man, but that is no excuse. Eric himself did not seem phased, he just stated “Tell me why you have kidnapped my lover, or you will be very sorry.” The were snorted “ha your lover, she’s been fucking Kennedy over there for at least two months, not that he was ever really interested in that tramp she will jump on any dick, as long as it ain’t attached to a human.” Ok that got a rise out of him. He kicked her clean across the floor. He obviously wasn’t thinking because she came to a stop a little to close to her gun and even before he could stop her she has shot herself in the head. Eric looked at the brain tissue on the wall and said “Well that was preferable to aiming at you.” He came to me again and scooped me up and smelled me hard allover my body. “You have not been with that bear, have you my lover?” he said with a satisfied smile. Leave it to Eric to ignore the pile of dead bodies and inquire about my bedmate. “Not that it is any of your business, but no.”
“Oh, Sookie, you should remember that YOU called out to ME.”
Well damn he had me there that was enough to shut me up and besides as much as I don’t want to admit it, it kind of is his business.
“I don’t have the energy to get into this now Eric, can’t we just clean up and go home.”
“Of course, you are right dear one but I want you to know this habit of putting off significant conversations is about to be broken.”
I had nothing to say, he was right. We had a lot to talk about, and if I wouldn’t have put it off to begin with, we would likely not be in this mess.
I’ll spare you all the gory details, but after the dirty work was done Eric and I walked outside to find Pam standing next to her Toyota. She was gazing off into the night sky, looking as dreamy as a vampire can look. When she heard us approaching ended her star gazing and smiled at me. Eric must have flown and called Pam at some point to pick us up. Wow, I really need to suck it up and consider Eric for who is; all of him, not just the obvious points.
Pam began to open her mouth but Eric held up a hand in warning. Pam looked scolded for about half a second but than just got into the driver’s seat. I guess Eric didn’t feel like being chided by Pam’s sense of humor; I however was looking forward to it.
Eric opened the rear passenger side door and gestured for me to enter. Much to my surprise he followed and gathered me up to him. Pam didn’t have anything to say about playing chauffeur but I could tell from her expression in the rearview that she was amused.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Pam I take it Clancy has things under control at Fangtasia?” Eric stated more than asked. Pam answered, I was happy enough to let them talk vamp stuff well I relaxed in the comfort that came from being around Eric, especially this close to Eric. I was about to tune out when I heard Eric say “ Take us to Sookie’s house I will try to be back by eight tomorrow, if that is not possible I will call you before.”
“You’re coming home with me?” I asked sounding a little unstable I am sure.
“Yes” well that was simple enough.
“But why don’t we…”
“No, this is best, it is 1 am we have much to discuss; any other way and we will not have time to accomplish anything before dawn.”
“Fine” I replied. Eric was surprised I didn’t put up more of a fight but It was obvious he was concrete on this and if we were going to talk I needed to save up all my energy.
They rest of the drive home was fairly silent. Eric seemed to be finding as much comfort (pleasure, longing, lust) in me as I was in him and it was a wonderful feeling. I felt at home. I guess most people wouldn’t feel at home with a 1000 year old undead Viking, but I had never felt more so in my life. Everything felt right, but as I heard the gravel crunch and knew we were now at my actual home, I was reminded of how profoundly wrong things really were.
As we got out of the car Amelia, my witchy roommate (as of this week my only witchy roommate) ran out onto the porch and bounded down my front steps. Ignoring both vampires she ran up and embraced me so hard I thought she might be trying to choke the life right out of me. When she finally let go she regarded me and I could tell she had been worried sick, not just by reading her mind either it was written allover her face. Eric and Pam more or less ignored Amelia and proceeded right into the house; I knew they were checking things out. I told Amelia that we would talk tomorrow but the short version was that Kennedy had kidnapped me for an unknown reason and Eric saved the day. My very own (big blonde gorgeous) superhero. I caught from Amelia’s mind that she didn’t know why I wasn’t with Eric to begin with, rude I know but I am tired and she is a strong broadcaster. It didn’t matter anyway, because as we were walking up the steps she said “Sookie, I just don’t get it, wouldn’t you rather have a dead boyfriend then a boyfriend who wants you dead?”
TBC
Thinking is Sooooo Bad
Have you ever had something with someone that was so intense you knew it was no good for you, but you were helpless to try to get away? I did. Saw him when I was in sixth fucking grade, I know how lame is that? His eyes were so blue, and he was so tall. I could look past his long curly hair and see that he was wow. From that day on (eventhough I had a boyfriednd) I looked for him everywhere I went. That summer I almost forgot about him. Seeing as how we had never spoken, exchanged a few smiles but never words, I thought it was silly to not let go. He would be in high school this year, and I just in seventh grade. (Oh I should mention the school I attended was two middle school and a high school combined in one building but treated as seprate entities) Well that next October, some stupid girl ruined my clothes and I found myself waiting outside to be picked up in my gym uniform, and who should come to sit next to me on the wall? Mr. Blue Eyes himself, as I live an breathe. High school had just let out and instead of catching his bus, he sat on that wall with me and waited an entire hour until my mom showed up. He said it was dangerous for a young girl as beautiful as me to set out there all alone with dirty adolescent boys roaming all around her. They are only intreseted in one thing he said and winked at me. I should have told him to go home, that I could handel myself. I didn't. He got my number, my mom drove him home, and that was the end of my life as I knew it. He didn't tell me that day that he had a girlfriend, and didn't bother to tell me at any time during the next month when he would wait for me after high school let out and ride my bus home with me at least twice a week. She must have figured out something was up, even if we never crossed paths, her boyfriend suddenly dropping off the radar likley tipped her off. Well the first Saturday in December, he shows up at my house at like 7:30 in the morning. He said he had tried to call me non stop the night before, but couldn' t get through. (This was before i had e-mail, cell phone, im) and that was true, I had taken my phone off the hook so another guy wouldn't bother me. He laid down in my bed and told me all about her. How they started dating in the sixth grade, and just stayed together, how he had been all about her until he saw me sitting on that wall. He said he remebered seeing me the year before and always thought I was pretty, but until he saw sitting there all alone he never saw me for what I truly was. He said he was sorry for not telling me about her, but he didn't know what to do. He didn't know me that well at first and he didn't know he was going to like me as much as he did. He said soon I became all he thought about. So last night, he told her everything and broke up with her. He said that now I knew everything too. And then he kissed me, morning breath and all. My mom had let him in on her way out the door (she trusted me) and we were all alone and we laid in my bed kissing and talking for hours. When I finally got up he was a perfect gentleman when I took my shower. He stayed with me all day and by the time he went home at 11:00 that night (my mom drove him) I was his girlfriend. For another two years, we couldn't get enough of each other. One he started driving, we were together all the time. He drove me home everyday and came over every weekend. We did so many things. I still to this day have more in common with him than anyone else I have ever met. Once again, in December (about two months after he got his liscence) the old girlfriend popped back up. She wanted him back, and just like that the honeymoon was over. By then I was in high school with him, and we even had a few classes together. I knew they were talking and like an IDIOT I said he could spend time with her and reform a friendship. She had been such a big part of his life and our relationship was so solid I didn't need to worry, he said. What fucking ever. Well as you can guess, she wanted more than just friendship and now Mr. Blue Eyes and Me, became pretty off and on. The first time was all me, I went into a jealous fit over them working on an art project together (he even said I could supervise if I wanted ha I was so dumb) broke up with him and sent him straight into her arms. I of course retaliated and dated another guy, a couple moths later he calls me on Valentine's Day appoligizes and we get back together. Well up until now, we had fooled around but no sex. I had issues with sex to begin with, plus I was only 14 and he is almost 6' 6" and proportionate. Well the ex. didn't have my issues, and while we were apart he had goten some. Needless to say, for a 16 year old boy, especially one allowed so much alone time with his girlfried, that became a problem. After five more months, he realized I wasn't going to put out and by summer, we were apart again. I went to summer school and ended up dating a guy I used to know that was in the same class, but always thinking about Blue Eyes. Blue Eyes got back with his ex, and basically spent the whole summer fucking her and trying to talk/hang out with me. I mostly ignored him, but it was really difficult. Once school started back up, we were in another few classes together, and I couldn't ignore him anymore. We fell back into old habbits, and ended up together again. For reasons to remain unsaid I had given it up for summer guy, so now of course I gave it up for Blue Eyes too, foolishly thinking it would solve all our problems. My Sophmore year was a really good one for us. He worked a lot, so we didn't see as much of each other, but I had lots of friends, so I didn't get lonely. The time we spent together was amazing, and still some of my fondest memories. He was really romantic. And silly. And we loved to do the same things. We had so much fun. He had started to skip school habitually to work, and that made us fight but we got through it. He ended up not graduating. He stuck around for year five and it started off good, until his ex started showing up at his house. She did graduate, and had a job nearby. We broke up and got back together I don't know how many times until I got fed up in October and broke it off for good. We had our last class together and he stopped attending it first. Eventually he dropped out. My mom died on Valentine's day that year and I had to move to the city. The person I moved in with was NUTS and gave me the same rules as her kids in elementary school. I had serious boyfriend by then, and he stuck by me through everything. He was very sweet and supportive, but the spark was not the same. We mostly stayed together until I graduated high school. He proposed to me, I freaked out, and moved to Florida. I broke his heart big time, he was eight years older than me, and I just wasn't ready. Soon after I moved to FL, I met a great guy (in October 2003 now) and we started dating. He was the first guy I had ever been with, that I wasn't always thinking of Blue Eyes, infact I wasn't thinking of Blue Eyes at all. Grated me and FL Guy don't have the same things in common lile Blue and I did, but we could talk about ANYTHING and we had very similar political beliefs. Well long story short we got married four months after we met and ta-da he I am five years later and we are still married. We have had some issue. Main one being soon after we got married for medical reason I BLEW UP from a size 2 to a 26. I am still fighting with that, and it is still a problem. I also admit that I spoil him, I do EVERTHING for him, something I have never done before. I love my husband, but he isn't always sure he loves me...but that a story for another day.
Any way, a few weeks ago, Blue Eyes got a hold of my e-mail. And we have been back and forth ever since. He is rehashing our entire lives. Telling me I have been on his mind almost a decade now, and he doesnt think I am going away. He said he called me hundreds of times when I was living in the city, but my cousin wouldnt let me talk. I believe him she did the same to all my other friends and my brother. He says he came to watch me play lacrosee once and when he asked a guy where I would be after the game was over, the guy laughed and told him to get in line. I believe that too, I played on the boys team and there was a running gag that there was a line to get to me all waiting patiently for me to dump my "loser boyfriend". He misses me. He thinks we should have been married. He says he doesn't care how big I am now, that isn't why he loves me. He says he loves me. I keep telling him the best he can hope for is friendship. I remind him I am a married woman. He has been talking to my girlfriends. He doesn't think my husband treats me right, he is convinced he could do better. All these e-mail are bringing back all the memories I thought I threw away when I moved 800miles south. Apparently I just repressed them because they are haunting me. All the old emotions came rushing back, and I find myself less willing to put up with my husbands bull shit. I know it is crazy, but a big part of me is SCREAMING give Blue another chance. I am so torn. It's so silly. I am married, I have a small child. I can't just uproot him run back to Maryland and give my high school flame another go. I tell myself this over and over everynight, who am I kidding all the time. I can't get Blue out of my mind. It's 6th grade all over again. I don't know what to do, everytime my husband is a ass (and that is plenty) and everytime my son does something my husband does that he shouldn't (like tell me it's my job to clean up his toys) it becomes that much more difficult to talk myself out of it. I am supposed to go to Maryland for my best friends wedding in March, but now I am terrified. If my husband doesn't go, I don't know what I will do if I see Blue. I have NEVER EVER cheated and I don't want to start.
Any way, a few weeks ago, Blue Eyes got a hold of my e-mail. And we have been back and forth ever since. He is rehashing our entire lives. Telling me I have been on his mind almost a decade now, and he doesnt think I am going away. He said he called me hundreds of times when I was living in the city, but my cousin wouldnt let me talk. I believe him she did the same to all my other friends and my brother. He says he came to watch me play lacrosee once and when he asked a guy where I would be after the game was over, the guy laughed and told him to get in line. I believe that too, I played on the boys team and there was a running gag that there was a line to get to me all waiting patiently for me to dump my "loser boyfriend". He misses me. He thinks we should have been married. He says he doesn't care how big I am now, that isn't why he loves me. He says he loves me. I keep telling him the best he can hope for is friendship. I remind him I am a married woman. He has been talking to my girlfriends. He doesn't think my husband treats me right, he is convinced he could do better. All these e-mail are bringing back all the memories I thought I threw away when I moved 800miles south. Apparently I just repressed them because they are haunting me. All the old emotions came rushing back, and I find myself less willing to put up with my husbands bull shit. I know it is crazy, but a big part of me is SCREAMING give Blue another chance. I am so torn. It's so silly. I am married, I have a small child. I can't just uproot him run back to Maryland and give my high school flame another go. I tell myself this over and over everynight, who am I kidding all the time. I can't get Blue out of my mind. It's 6th grade all over again. I don't know what to do, everytime my husband is a ass (and that is plenty) and everytime my son does something my husband does that he shouldn't (like tell me it's my job to clean up his toys) it becomes that much more difficult to talk myself out of it. I am supposed to go to Maryland for my best friends wedding in March, but now I am terrified. If my husband doesn't go, I don't know what I will do if I see Blue. I have NEVER EVER cheated and I don't want to start.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Freakish
I don’t know who left this CD here. It’s a little morbid, and not at all like what I usually listen to. Tonight it just feels right though. As I set here and eat my spaghetti, and my second piece of garlic bread, no vamps to offend tonight, I just can’t seem to turn it off.
Well here I amaam
Don’t know how to say this
Only thing I knowoww is awkward silence
Your eye lids clooose when you’re around me
To shut me out
I find myself swaying back and forth to the music in my living room holding my body. I guess I’ve been lonely lately. I rescinded the invitation of every vampire I know, and they haven’t been banging the door down to get back in. I haven’t seen Tara since Club Dead. I’ve never been a big hit with human guys, and Alcide hasn’t been by since he dropped off my suitcase. I guess that puts me back to normal. I haven’t felt normal since the night before Bill Compton almost got drained. Well that’s a lie, I’ve never felt normal, but that’s the last time I felt normal for me. Maybe that’s why this CD is such good company. I’m a little freakish myself. As the music gets harder, I free my arms and start to swing my head. My loose hair is imitating the motions of my body. It’s strangely freeing.
I’ll make my way across the frozen sea
Beyond the blank horizon
Where I can forget “you an me” and get a decent night’s sleep
Watching her gyrating in her pajamas is enough to make my lifeless heart pound.
I have failed. I failed the queen, I failed myself, and most importantly I failed Sookie. I never thought I would love a human woman. I thought the entire premise of the queen’s plot to secure the telepath ridiculous. Then she saved me. She is so different from other women. I don’t know what she’s done to me, but I cannot let go.
I saw it in her eyes in Jackson. She is no longer mine. She may have never truly been. She finds comfort in my familiarity, not in me. She no longer burns for me. I know who is stoking her fire now. I knew the day would come. It was obvious from the first time they laid eyes on one another. They share a common spirit. I cannot match that. I cannot even try.
I do love her. As much a vampire can love.
I want to protect her. I want to lie with her. I want her to be mine.
She wants none of that. She wants to be rid of me and all I have brought down on her. I complicated her life. I knew I would the day I left New Orleans. I didn’t care then. Maybe
I should tell her what brought me here?
I want to take her away from all of this. When the queen decides to annex her, we won’t be able to protect her. We both will try. Our attempts will be futile. She will become another of Sophie Ann’s assets. She may show her mercy, and allow her some freedom. She will have to heel. That will be very difficult for her. She will be broken. I can’t let her know that I had a hand in that. She will blame me regardless, for introducing her into the underworld to being with. If she knows that I am directly responsible, she will never forgive me. I cannot allow that. She would never understand.
She is too much to observe now. She will not listen to me. Her upbringing may dictate that she be courteous, but she will not truly listen to my words. She will believe what she wishes. It is still too fresh for her. For us.
It is like an open wound. I have to heal before I try to win her favor again. In my heart of hearts, I know where her favor truly lies. Maybe I can sway her before she realizes. For now I must go.
Well here I amaam
Don’t know how to say this
Only thing I knowoww is awkward silence
Your eye lids clooose when you’re around me
To shut me out
I find myself swaying back and forth to the music in my living room holding my body. I guess I’ve been lonely lately. I rescinded the invitation of every vampire I know, and they haven’t been banging the door down to get back in. I haven’t seen Tara since Club Dead. I’ve never been a big hit with human guys, and Alcide hasn’t been by since he dropped off my suitcase. I guess that puts me back to normal. I haven’t felt normal since the night before Bill Compton almost got drained. Well that’s a lie, I’ve never felt normal, but that’s the last time I felt normal for me. Maybe that’s why this CD is such good company. I’m a little freakish myself. As the music gets harder, I free my arms and start to swing my head. My loose hair is imitating the motions of my body. It’s strangely freeing.
I’ll make my way across the frozen sea
Beyond the blank horizon
Where I can forget “you an me” and get a decent night’s sleep
Watching her gyrating in her pajamas is enough to make my lifeless heart pound.
I have failed. I failed the queen, I failed myself, and most importantly I failed Sookie. I never thought I would love a human woman. I thought the entire premise of the queen’s plot to secure the telepath ridiculous. Then she saved me. She is so different from other women. I don’t know what she’s done to me, but I cannot let go.
I saw it in her eyes in Jackson. She is no longer mine. She may have never truly been. She finds comfort in my familiarity, not in me. She no longer burns for me. I know who is stoking her fire now. I knew the day would come. It was obvious from the first time they laid eyes on one another. They share a common spirit. I cannot match that. I cannot even try.
I do love her. As much a vampire can love.
I want to protect her. I want to lie with her. I want her to be mine.
She wants none of that. She wants to be rid of me and all I have brought down on her. I complicated her life. I knew I would the day I left New Orleans. I didn’t care then. Maybe
I should tell her what brought me here?
I want to take her away from all of this. When the queen decides to annex her, we won’t be able to protect her. We both will try. Our attempts will be futile. She will become another of Sophie Ann’s assets. She may show her mercy, and allow her some freedom. She will have to heel. That will be very difficult for her. She will be broken. I can’t let her know that I had a hand in that. She will blame me regardless, for introducing her into the underworld to being with. If she knows that I am directly responsible, she will never forgive me. I cannot allow that. She would never understand.
She is too much to observe now. She will not listen to me. Her upbringing may dictate that she be courteous, but she will not truly listen to my words. She will believe what she wishes. It is still too fresh for her. For us.
It is like an open wound. I have to heal before I try to win her favor again. In my heart of hearts, I know where her favor truly lies. Maybe I can sway her before she realizes. For now I must go.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Grr Arg
Men suck. Or at least my husband does. He spends all his free time playing online poker (not for money, on facebook) or some sports game on the play station. I don't complain. As long as he spends some time with our kid I'm cool. I run the house. I cook dinner. Up until October (for over FIVE fucking years) I was the only one who worked full time. But now that I have found a hobby, a hoppy that make me incredibly happy...HE BITCHES CONSTANTLY. My hobby is reading/writing fanfiction related to Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Series. No I'm not saving the world, but atleast I am exercising my brain. Before we got married I used to paint, and write and go to concerts and protests and volunteer all the time. Now all I do is cook and clean and work and study and mother our boy. Now I love doing all those things, but I have to have more. I'm not June Cleaver. I need a life of my own. He won't let me on the computer all day, then bitches that I stay up all night. Well thank goodness he sleeps alot.
Sorry, rant over.
Sorry, rant over.
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