33rd Times a Charm

I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you
I had a successful recovery, and then
You snuck back into my veins and
spread your posion through my body
I am reveling in your sweet sensations
Ignoring the searing pain lurking beyond the light
You are sensory overload
I am utterly unatainable
Yet here you are sending tingles up my spine
As my guilt lunges up my esophagus
You used my weakness against me
My will in paralyzed in your presence
I never liked blue eyes anyway
If keep lying to myself
I will start to believe
Denial is the first step to my recovery
Honesty led me to relapse
Repress and forget
And pretend it is enough
It will be easier that way
We have loved and lost
I don't feel better for the effort
I feel empty from the loss
I filled the void
The ache remains
I am numb to its wrenching grasp
I am not ready for the feeling you afford me again

You're Crashing, But I'm Falling

This is the first poem I have written in 7 years so I am aware that it is terrible.

These wishful mirrors they reflect
All the years torched long ago
So as I get lost deep in their seduction
And wait for reason to take hold
It evades me and
Ancient emotions I recolect

You couldn't let me alone
I had long supressed our indescretions
Now the tempest charts her path
And your ride up on your pale horse
I won't have death for my savior
So don't smother me in your flames tonight

My sparkle long ago faded
But I would keep my dreary glow
Before I sucomb to your shimmering facade

Forever, lost in time
What we once had been
Time will not wait
And my self preservation will not wain.